It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
