I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
