i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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