I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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