so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
