When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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