There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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