And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
