I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
