So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
