We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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