as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
