PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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