she was so not down for the gang bang
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
