I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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