direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
