If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
