we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
