i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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