so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
