I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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