Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
