i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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