what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My breasts were aching with rage.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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