Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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