Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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