Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize