Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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