if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
