is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You've changed since you got that strap on
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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