its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize