Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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