Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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