I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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