he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize