you win again, gameday.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
