I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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