So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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