I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize