I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
