There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
vagina is talking i cant
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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