we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
