i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
