no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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