I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
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seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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