Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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