come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
