I only kidnapped one of them. chill
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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