ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just want to make out with him forever
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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