well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
