I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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