Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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