It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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