it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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