maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I have tasted many bathrooms
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
