I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Can I color on your dick again?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm always down for nudity.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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