FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
