I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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